Why you should NEVER break up! 💕🤝

Backfiring!

People often break up because they desire a change in their companion. They end the relationship as a threat to show their partner what is at stake if they don’t change.

Unfortunately, this strategy usually ends up backfiring. The key takeaway here is: don’t break up with someone you care about. Most likely, your significant other will welcome some space.

Your lover may not yet be as emotionally invested in the relationship as you are. Therefore, they are not ready to change and do not care as much as you that the relationship has ended.

Everybody falls in love at their own time, and one partner can love the other more.

Lastly, are you ready for the consequences of your actions?

What to do instead?

It is harder to try and get your demands met when you are no longer an item. That person does not owe you anything but to be respectful and civil.

If you want to make something work or you need space to figure things out, your first option should not be to end the relationship unless there is violence, mental games, or manipulation involved.

Work things out IN a relationship, not when you’re OUT of the relationship!

Make sure to first work things out in a relationship because it is hard to go back, and if they do return, allowing them back is a signal that you broke your own standards. You have crossed your boundaries and they will not take your ultimatums or actions seriously in the future.

Essentially, you have given them confirmation that you will welcome them back again, which can lead to transitory on-and-off relationships transpiring. Your actions allow them to get away with more because they are the victims. They’ve been dumped.

Additionally, it has shown them you no longer have any respect for yourself because you have broken your word.

So, what should you do?

Communication

This is the point where you are told to see a therapist. Someone trained in couple therapy.

But, not everyone will go along with going to see a shrink. Counselling can be done as an individual, and maybe you should go first (whilst together) if your mate is unwilling.

In most cases, if you want someone to change, you must change. And first you should try to be a better communicator.

You must communicate not only what they should change but also where you need to improve. You should know the right time to strike up a conversation and where.

If you go on the attack by asking, “Why did you do this?” you’ve immediately put them on the defensive. Similarly, impromptu conversations led to resentment.

Thus,

Never end a relationship you know you do not want to end. In the end, you will go back, tail between your legs, on the back foot, undoing all you hoped to achieve in the first place.

Set healthy, manageable boundaries instead, and stick to them while you’re together. Do not let your partner cross the line. If the line is crossed, stick to your realistic non-negotiable.

Only end a relationship if you are prepared for the consequences of your actions. That could result in the partnership ending FOREVER!