How do I know if I’m with a Narcissist? 

What is a Narcissist?

Firstly, to know if you are with a narcissist, you should first be reminded of what one is.

Narcissism is a personality disorder that makes it hard to care about other people, focus on one’s own importance, have trouble getting along with other people, and put a lot of emphasis on one’s own ego.

Falling in Love with a Narcissist

The more time you spend with a narc without knowing what they really are, the more likely you will fall in love with them.

Why?

You’ll think their conduct is acceptable. Or, if the relationship is meant to be professional, friendly, or is someone in your family, you typically like this person. As a result, they will bypass some of the red flags.

Additionally, a Narc is, first of all, charming. Remember, they care about themselves and how they come across. In Greek mythology, Narcissus falls in love with his own beauty.

So, all narcs put in a lot of effort to attract you and say what you want to hear. They can be from any social standing and enhance their attractiveness to trap you.

So, you should find out as soon as possible if he/she is your “perfect boyfriend/girlfriend/work colleague/boss/friend/family member,” since a narcissist’s facade will start to wear thin with time.

Still, please leave if you see any of the following: gaslighting, reverse psychology, lies, or forgetting what you said.

Set boundaries

Unfortunately, you will have to trigger them by setting boundaries to know who you are dealing with. When you spot a red flag, you don’t have to say anything, but if it happens again, pull things back and set healthy standards. Like reasonable standards, communicate within working hours. Contact that isn’t every day (that is, if you have just met each other).

If he/she sends “vague” messages, don’t call or message back for clarity, and if they still do not give you clarity, don’t reach out-you’ll thank me later.

Narcissists don’t like others setting boundaries for them. They are offended. Unfortunately, even with limitations in place, you won’t know what she/he is until you have pissed them off or when it’s too late and you are hooked. Nonetheless, set rules on how you want to be treated. Show the person you are not going to be easy to manipulate.

I have read articles that say just ask them if he is a narc, but they will just project this condition on you, that you’re a narc. Then you start taking online tests to see if he’s/she’s right.

In the beginning, if the narc is a man, 

In the beginning, he gives you the authority to choose what you would like to do. It’s your choice. ” At first, his comments appear normal and encouraging. Still, when his personality changes for the worse, you realize that all he did was build you up to give you a false sense of security.

He’ll appear to be your ideal companion and match all of your requirements, but don’t be fooled. It only takes him being triggered, like when you simply talk about your emotions. He goes into a rage, then stops himself and tries to appear like he’s “all-together,” as if he’s recording the conversation.

It’s like he doesn’t want anyone to see or hear his temper. It’s madness—he then turns everything on you.

There is no self-accountability. A narc never or rarely shares the blame. It’s all you. His assessment of events is never balanced. It’s all your fault, and he wants nothing to do with you. As a result, you begin to question him about specific instances in which you might be in the wrong “Tell me what I did,” and “How can I make things right?”

You’re expecting him to say something sensible, but instead, he reflects his own actions back on you. What he has done to you, he will claim, is what you have done to him.

Again, it is madness!

Anyway, please get out ASAP as soon as you spot the gaslighting, reverse psychology, lies, and amnesia. If not, you will become a battered partner. A doormat. A broken person. Please remember that you will never persuade him to see your side of the partnership.

Stop comparing his actions to those of others; his way of being does not feel right, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise. 

Signs you are with a narcissist!  

Someone being one or two or even five listed below might not mean the person is a Narc  but maybe more then five

• Tests your boundaries  
• Encouraging but only on his terms. Once you expect encouragement from him, he will hate you. Tells you that the world doesn’t revolve around you lol  
• But he is so Sexy (sigh)  
• He’s too good to be true  
• Has a “perfect” side and a psychotic cold & delusional side  
• Your feelings do not matter unless he wants to use them against you  
• Black & White Thinking-Cut’s you out when you call him out   
• Abandons you before you abandon him  
• Accommodating and charming, but only on his terms. He is not the same when you ask him to be nice or ask for an apology   
• “Love-bombs” an over display of affection in the beginning   
• Abusive (might first only appear during sex) 
• Has a grand sense of importance   
• Lies so much that it’s almost comical.
• Twists your words  
• Dodges questions
• Has you walking on eggshells  
• Immature
• Fragile ego  
• He acts like he has amnesia when asked a question he does not like.  
• When he wants nothing to do with you, he goes on a smear campaign.  
• replaces you before the relationship has ended.