The Toxic side of Dating a Cancer Man

Have you ever passed the tiniest dog on the block and for no reason it starts yapping?

Yes,

Okay, although Cancer is a crab Cancers yaps for no reason.

Google Crabs, up pops a links to STDs. And googling Cancer, returns with results for the deadly condition.

The Crabs in the Bucket

A Cancer man is probably the worst sign to date. That is, if you get involved with a low-vibrational Cancerian, or he starts to display low-vibrational behaviour. 

A low vibrational Cancer man is on the same spectrum as a serial killer. He’s dangerous ASF. 

Why? 

Because at first, a Cancer man is well groomed and dressed. He will also be the most loving, caring, sweet, considerate man you have ever encountered. Cancer Man loves to help you. Wants to care for you. Care to the point where he’ll make sure the coke you’re drinking is between 34 to 38 degrees Fahrenheit, the “perfect” room temperature.  

But he created the terms “love bombing” and ghosting. No, perhaps Cancer men inspired writer Rachel Thompson to coin the term.

Cancer does a lot, so you can become dependent on him. 

Dependency Issues 

However, he is really hiding his own dependency issues. He wants to make you just as dependent on him as he knows, deep down, he lacks self-sufficiency. 

So, Cancer gets you into a false state of security. You become overly dependent on Cancer.  

At the beginning of the relationship, you see him with rose-coloured glasses. You could confuse a Cancer with a Taurus or a Virgo. But not all Taurus men are loyal. There is a stereotype that Taurus is a loyal sign.  

His biggest weapon?

Besides using his emotions, his biggest weapon is that he is very crafty.

He is clever at achieving his aims by indirect or deceitful methods! 

He’s cutting.

And can pull you off your pedestal! 

Cancers Moods 

Cancer is more like Gemini. He is very changeable. The little things can change a Cancers mind. One minute he’ll want one thing, the next minute he’ll want something else, and this is because of his moods, whereas with Gemini everything is changeable because of their ever-changing thoughts. 

Cancers are sensitive. He can feel everything so deeply. And from moment to moment, depending on their surroundings and who they are with can influence their mood. Anything said to him potentially stirs his emotions. How somebody looks at him or imagines they look at him can also influence his mood.

So, what you get is somebody that is just fluctuating in terms of their personality. And as a result, how he will respond to you is as if you’re dating somebody who has bipolar disorder.

You are dating somebody who, for one minute, is so caring.

The next minute, he ignores you.

He’s then talkative.

Two seconds later, he’s upset and screaming.

However, even though this sounds negative, depending on your personality, you may find some of this behavior amusing, especially the screaming part. If you’re very mature and know that his response is not a big deal and understand his behavior, this may not affect you.

But what could affect you is that his moods could start rubbing off on you. 

What He Hates? 

Firstly, he hates it if you are overly emotional, especially if he can not fix your problem or if he’s part of the problem.

Secondly, he hates your silence. He hates not getting to know what you are feeling, including what you feel for him. Remember, he’s playing the role of a “caregiver,” someone that wants you dependent on him. But if he does not know how to fix your problems or find a solution, it is like he does not have a purpose, like he cannot function.

A Cancer man may not really know what he wants in life. He may try different things, but he may lack fulfilment and purpose. And therefore, in trying to figure out your problems, it avoids him exploring his overwhelming emotions. 

Cancer cannot handle his own emotions and feelings, so he tries to fix other people’s problems. He believes he can only influence his home life and other people’s emotions.

But in almost every other area of life, he really cannot help you unless it is to provide sperm. 

“Feeling like a failure” 

As a result, he can feel like a failure, which is the biggest emotion he is trying to avoid feeling. 

Basically, this man looks and appears to be helping you. He is always asking you what’s wrong? Can he help you? Can he do this or do that?

But it is all rather surface level. 

When it comes to the big stuff in life, he falls short. For whatever reason, he cannot provide. Even if he has money, he will be manipulative with his finances, especially if he’s low vibrational.  

So, at first, you’re thinking, “This man is so caring.” He’s so nice, but when it comes to him really doing something of substance, really being or taking on responsibility, he, for some reason, doesn’t want to do it.  

He can’t do it!  

An example of this is that he is asking about your day. He may show interest in how you feel, but he may be the one making your day difficult. But if you were to tell him, he would not care enough to change his behaviour so you could have a better day. He would think you’re exaggerating or that it’s your fault that you are experiencing what you say you feel.

When it is just him at the focus or when you try to point something out to him, he does not want to accept it because then that means it comes with him having to feel a certain way about himself. 

He does not want to associate any feelings with his own shortcomings. Although his seeming concern for you may seem generous, it is really an attempt to avoid dealing with his own feelings of inadequacy. 

What Scares him? 

Sitting with his feelings and rejection.

How to Handle a Cancer Man 

Before you enter into a relationship, you must observe this Cancer in his natural environment. Observe him in an environment that doesn’t include your relationship. When looking at how he acts with you, there is a tendency to put on rose-tinted spectacles. You will think the way that he’s treating you is so spectacular until you are in the relationship for a long time and it starts to wear you down.

Go on a double date with his friends. If he works in a place like a cafe or restaurant or somewhere that you can pop in and see how he treats employees, how he treats customers, how he moves throughout that day that you are observing him. But don’t initially spend too much time with other people.

You have to know this man’s moods. You have to become a Scorpio or somebody that has a very strong Pluto. Get to know every one of his moods and why he is behaving this way. If you do not, ultimately, you may start to blame yourself. You start to blame yourself for his moods, even though that’s not why he’s being moody. His ups and downs are just his natural disposition. The more you understand that, the less personal it becomes.

Because if you do not observe him, he will start to believe, especially if you point out that his moods are up and down, that it’s you, and this can turn into somebody that’s good at gaslighting, making it seem like it’s your fault. It seems that there is no problem when actually there is a problem. 

In truth, his moods, his emotions, and his sensitivities are actually very easy to read, but you have to see it play out before you get Google-eyed in his natural habitat, be it his work, be with his friends, be it with his family, but especially away from family, like his friends and with his work environment especially.

A Cancer man is very dependent. He tends to go from relationship to relationship quickly. Before the ink has dried on his divorce papers, he’s proposed to someone else.

Someone once said, and this has been true, if you want to talk to a Cancer man, make sure you do it when you are by a river, by the sea, by the ocean, or when he’s taking a bath, when he’s in the shower. 

He is a lot calmer, more thoughtful, and less emotional when he’s by the water. 

Allow him to be independent. Not because it serves you but because you know in the long term it will help him. 

And lastly, don’t dump emotions that he can’t handle because being overly emotional is his personality trait, not yours (even if you’re also a sun Cancer.)

The Best Type of Partner for a Cancer Man 

The best type of partner for a Cancer man is somebody who will understand his sensitive side. Someone very honest with him but is sensitive to his emotions when delivering their honesty.  

A Cancer man needs somebody that is in tune with him, like how mothers are with their baby or child. Within time, mothers begin to know “every face” their children pull means something. He knows every gurgle. He knows when to change his diaper, when the baby needs to be fed. And when to put him down for his nap. 

Try to sooth him. Reassure him. Hug him.

Like his mother, you must learn how to read this man.  

“He is not going to look after you” 

You also need to know how to look after not only him but also yourself. Cancer man is not going to look after you. Even if he seems so caring, he is not going to look after you because he can barely look after himself.

But he will look after his kids unless he is a demon.  

Cancers need somebody to help him elevate. To help manage his feelings. Someone nurturing.

He goes for two types of people and makes sure you know which one you are.

Be honest with yourself when you read the next few lines.

Firstly, he likes someone who is more submissive (because of age or cultural pressures) or secondly, he attracts somebody who is older and or assertive. 

The submissive types can struggle because they can easily get gaslit. A relationship with a submissive person could happen, especially when a Cancer is younger and this is his first relationship.

He typically dates somebody more submissive. Then they go to the older partner. 

This new partner must have their own place, after all he’s recently moved out of his home he shared with his ex (Or mothers home.)

Besides couch surfing, the mature partner can handle his moods a bit more. They will be more established in their life. They can help to elevate him. Remember, Cancer is the opposing sign to status-driven Capricorn.  

Anyway, a Cancer man is drawn to someone more established in life because he couldn’t provide for the submissive partner. He wasn’t living up to his end of the bargain. Or he believed his partner was not fulfilling his needs. 

But the older types can become tired of him. Feeling used and possibly desiring someone more matureIf that relationship does not work out, he’ll try a few more mature people, but will go back to somebody more culturally submissive.

“He’s Manipulative” 

Whether you are submissive or not, you have to really know yourself before you enter into this relationship because what the Cancer man tends to do is to manipulate you.  

He’ll find your weaknesses. All the things you’ve said to him, he’ll use them against you, for his own benefit.

He’s a little bit sly and a little bit naughty. But if you know yourself and you understand how this man operates, it’s easier to handle his behaviour and stand up to him.

I’m not saying you can change his behaviour, but it’s easier to understand him whilst also not crumbling under this man’s emotional manipulation. 

How to make it work with the Cancer man 

Remember that it has already been said that Cancer opposes Capricorn. In an astrology chart, Cancer is located in a private sphere, in a place that many people do not have access to.

Capricorn is located in the area that is most public and is most visible. And because Cancerians can be highly influenced (not as much as Pisces), people will interfere. Avoid too many opinions about this relationship. If not, his family and even people that are not that familiar with him will influence your partnership.

“He must become more independent”

So, besides getting to know his moods, allow for some forms of independence to happen within the relationship.

Take care of his needs just as much as he claims to take care of yours. Try to build memories, to build a history with this man before making things public. 

Then, when you are ready to meet his family and friends, try to establish a relationship with them. Love them as much as he loves them (well, maybe not show too much love to his friends).